Anonymous
It is 5:37am. I see open roads ahead. No other cars in sight to break the beam of light streaming out from in front of me. I arrive at the hospital and park right in front. I am here for my volunteer shift where I am taking the temperatures of everyone entering the hospital. As a first-year medical student, I had a sense of guilt staying home while others in the field are risking their lives.
Everyone has a mask on, it’s mandated in New York now, but that doesn’t stop me from being able to see the frustration and fear in their eyes. It’s astonishing how much a third of someone’s face can tell you. Their emotions slide into my recognition like water on glass. I know how they are feeling, because it’s the same subtleties I see in my mom’s eyes when she finds out she is going to have to work with COVID-19 patients from now on. The same I see in my friends who have been laid off, only just having started their careers; the ones who have lost loved ones to the virus and have to watch the death toll climb every day.
As a first-year medical student, I feel powerless in this fight. It is frustrating to watch this unfold before my very eyes and do just that, watch. I have struggled hearing from other students that the state of our healthcare system today, and the cracks that have been exposed during this pandemic, has made them question their careers in medicine and what they have worked so hard to achieve. Personally, I see a system that needs help, and I will do all that I can to ensure that if or when the next crisis comes, I am not just watching, I am doing.